My Inspired Truth

Things

Yet again I have too many things to write about. I guess this makes me lucky, but it is also ridiculously frustrating. I have my book I should be working on, I have two summer courses that are still going on that I need to get wrapped up so I can relax and enjoy the rest of the summer with my daughter. But here I am. In the middle of the night, writing… Albeit slowly, with regular deletions, but nonetheless doing something I promised myself I would do today: write.

Tomorrow, or technically today, one of my best friends is having surgery to have his testicular cancer removed. I am currently attempting to assemble a care package for someone who usually cares for others. He’s a Nurse Anesthetist, and appears to be extremely calm and confident with this whole ordeal, but the somewhat stereotypical Jewish mother in me feels like she’s going to have a heart attack. It breaks my heart that I can’t just take off to Florida to be there. But he’s in good hands, our other friends are there, his family is there. It will be ok.

Tomorrow, or technically today, I am attending an online seminar on Yoga Nidra. As someone who tends to practice, and teach, vinyasa with a funky rocker vibe, yoga nidra is something I have dabbled in, and greatly enjoyed, but never really immersed myself in. I’m looking forward to this seminar. Hopefully I will have something insightful or inspiring to say.

Today was a wonderful, productive day at “camp mom”. You know how it goes: happy kid, happy mama. This morning we had a smorgasbord of fruit and hard-boiled eggs (cruelty-free, of course). Then we painted pots. Then we made succulent terrariums.  Then we watched The Powerpuff Girls.

It’s interesting, interacting with my daughter sometimes because she is SO feminine. And it’s just innate. While I tend to be of the mindset that gender is a performance of a sociological construct based (rather unfairly) upon one’s anatomy, I am also completely flabbergasted by how intrinsic her desire to play with makeup and barbie dolls and babies and wear dresses is. It makes me reflect on my own identity as a femme-of-center person. A woman, sure – but definitely not a “lady”. It makes me question how and when and why I decided to start trying to “femme up”.

I feel like this may be one of the most babbling posts I’ve ever written but I didn’t want to go another day without offering you SOMETHING. However minute. Even if it’s just reasons/excuses for the jumbled mess of topics in my mind and lack of cohesiveness. You can expect more from me very soon. And pictures of delicious fruit murals and hand-painted planters with succulents and glass vases with terrariums.

Do you have nights your mind won’t stop long enough to actually generate content that is inspiring and has depth? Sometimes I’m just exhausted.

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